Wanting to know God.

For several years, I volunteered and worked for a church within the charismatic tradition. Since this church was a non-denominational (or “inter-denominational) church, they had very few written doctrines to which they were required to adhere. Rather, the focus for us was to know God, through the Bible, through each other, and through meeting God in our private and corporate spiritual lives. In fact, I still adhere to this principle—the purpose of my spiritual life is not to get the correct doctrine, but to know Christ to the best of my ability.

My experience with this tradition was the beginning of a new world for me, because I realized that I did not have to adhere to my previous theological biases unless I chose to. So in my life I began to question many of my biases, and soon I began to question the Bible. The quest that drove my questioning: to know God. Somewhere along this journey, I asked myself the question:

Does the Bible help me to know God or hinder me in knowing God?

This is an extremely important question to ask, but I doubt if any of us will find proof of an answer that we can rationally explain to another. But what I discovered was that my theological presuppositions could hinder me in knowing God, especially when I brought them to a reading of the Bible. I needed to be more frank with myself when I came to the text, because my primary goal was not to build a fence around the Bible, nor a fortress around the theology that I’d been taught before. My goal was to know God in spite of my previous interpretations of theologies and the Bible.

Can this way of thinking lead to me believing anything about God that I want? Yes, it can. That is the danger. But asking questions about whether something helps or hinders in knowing God is of the utmost importance. I am caught in the middle trying to discern the truth and completely making up the truth to support my own desires. I believe though, that if everyone looks at one’s self, they would find that they are in the same boat as I, despite having never asked such questions.

I find the only way to combat my desires for truth and to crawl towards the light of Truth is to not go it alone. It is important to search for truth with others, with The Other, within a community. Pray together, worship together, read the Bible together and be careful not to let previously learned things hinder the newly encountered things. Care enough to listen to the others in our communities (and even other communities who think differently!), perhaps enlightening us with new perspectives on theology and the Bible. I doubt anyone of us can say we have the market on God or that we know all truth. So keeping in mind that we all have more to learn, let us learn together, open to other parts of the Truth we have not yet experienced. In other words, leave room for knowing more about God, even if it means questioning hard things, like the Bible.